29 November 2012

A Brief Post on Demon Sex Turning You Gay

Sometimes I hate the catchy brevity of news article headlines as they attempt to surmise their points in as few words as possible, often to the detriment of the English language. Other times however, I really enjoy the stark contrasts they can bring about. Take today’s article of interest for example:
“Christian group says demon sex makes you gay”
I love how simple it makes the whole prospect seem, and how well it highlights the inherent absurdity of the claim. Though perhaps I must also caution myself against forming an opinion too rashly; after all they might have some good points backing this claim up if one looks at their argument in its entirety.
Then there is the subheading:
“A Christian magazine warns that homosexuality is caused by sex with succubi -- and that's just the beginning”
I guess this could conceivably turn you off women...

Well I suppose I was right in that there is more to it,though I had hoped for something more than just specifying which type of non-existent being could turn your straight parts bent.
To be fair, the article I read was based on an article from a Christian magazine whose preface to the story in question began with the proposition “Can demons engage in sexual behaviors with humans?”. So at least they had the pretence of scepticism present (even if it is only in their headline).
The article quickly goes on to assert that yes these things can happen, and quote Contessa Adams, a former stripper and now minister, who herself battled with demons (literally, she would have us believe; not figuratively) which threatened to turn her into, of all things, a lesbian.
Admit it, after reading the name Contessa Adams, this is who you pictured
Indeed Contessa was once possessed by sexual demons (which apparently isn’t as fun as it sounds), and was quoted as saying “Anybody that has been attacked by them will tell you … they’re worried [that] they could not find that pleasure with mortal people,” If anything, it reminds me of the first season of True Blood, when we discover that not only are vampires real, but they are apparently adept at showing mortals quite a good time.
An actual billboard for true Blood in New Zealand. Sums up the show quite nicely.
Seriously though, it is worth noting that the group of extreme American Christians who believe in demons stalking the land to turn people homosexual are the same group that encourage and fund the current homicidal regime intention killing gays in Uganda.

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